I found this journal entry and thought I would share it, it makes me sad to read it again...
May 4, 2007
Well, it’s my birthday. I am now 29 and I can’t help but feel depressed. Here goes one more birthday that I still don’t have a child or even pregnant for that matter. When I really sit on that it can eat me up. I am also expecting my period to start soon. It sure would have been nice to see a positive today when I took a pregnancy test. I get to where I just expect failure and disappointment. I’m used to it. It’s been 2 years and 5 months. Going on 2 ½. If I don’t get pregnant within 3 months I will turn 30 next year and still have no child. I don’t know what else to say. I’m just tired of feeling this way. Month after month has turned into year after year. Who would have thought? Why me? Why like this? Why now? When will it be over??????
Isaiah 40:31
Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.
Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
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"A Journey has a beginning and an end. It’s purposeful, not pointless. It implies activity, not passivity...Through faith in God, your journey will end with joy, not despair; with hope, rather than doubt; with fullness in the place of emptiness."
Playlist
About Me
- Cody and Shana
- Texas, United States
- Cody and I have been married 5 years and recently adopted Reese Elizabeth who is such a joy in our lives, especially after a long journey of infertility. To read more about our journey go to ohmydaisy.blogspot.com. We also have an awesome Chocolate Labrador, we're active in our church, we love the beaches, outdoors, and hanging out with family and friends.
When the Cradle is Empty: Coping with Infertility by John and Sylvia Van Regenmorter
"When it comes to infertility, the metaphor I like best is
"journey.” I like it because a journey has a beginning and an end. It’s purposeful, not pointless. It implies activity, not passivity. Your journey will end in its own day and in its own way. I don’t know where yours will take you, but I do know this: Through faith in God, your journey will end with joy, not despair; with hope, rather than doubt; with fullness in the place of emptiness."
"When it comes to infertility, the metaphor I like best is
"journey.” I like it because a journey has a beginning and an end. It’s purposeful, not pointless. It implies activity, not passivity. Your journey will end in its own day and in its own way. I don’t know where yours will take you, but I do know this: Through faith in God, your journey will end with joy, not despair; with hope, rather than doubt; with fullness in the place of emptiness."
Infertility Websites
Great Infertility Books
- Baby Hunger By: Beth Forbus
- Good Grief: A Faith-Based Guide to Understanding and Healing by: Granger E. Westberg
- Infertility:Finding God's Peace in the Journey By: Lois Flowers
- Longing For A Child: Devotions Of Hope for your Journey Through Infertility by: Kathe Wunnenberg
- Moments For Couples Who Long For Children: by Ginger Garratt
- Streams in The Desert By: L.B. Cowman
- The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility By: Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer, MD
- The Infetility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies by: Randine Lewis, Ph.D.
- Water from the Rock:Finding God's Comfort in the MIdst of Infertility By : Donna Gibbs, Beck Garrett, and Phyllis Rabon
- When The Cradle Is Empty: Answering Tough Questions About Infertility by: John and Sylvia Van Regenmorter
Adoption Resources
Great Adoption Books
- A Blessing From Above (Childrens Book) by: Patti Henderson
- Dear Birthmother by: Kathleen Silber and Phylis Speedlin
- Successful Adoption: A Guide For Christian Families by: Natalie Nichols Gillespie
- Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by: Sherrie Eldridge
Friends and Family
2 comments:
Shana - I wanted to thank you for sharing this. It seems like all the hurts you have been through, I have been there or are currently there. I know I do have a child, so it is different, but I still feel the hurts of trying to get pregnant and now trying again. You have given me peace and hope and great insight as to how to deal with this infertility. Thank you so much, you will never know!
Meredith
Thank you for allowing me to read about how you are feeling and what you are going through.
I love you and want to keep praying for you.
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