How we came to this point...Adoption

I thought I would share a little (well okay, it will probably be a lot) on how we came to this new journey, Adoption.

When Cody and I were in the first year of our marriage, we casually agreed that we would love to adopt a baby “one day” like after we have all of our own children, of course. I always thought if I ever adopted I would use New Life. The month of our 1 year anniversary we decided to start “trying”. Sometime in that first year of “trying” and we still were not pregnant yet (and wondering why it wasn’t working), I had a conversation with our neighbors that live across the street. I found out that they adopted their two sons, now ages 10 and 14, from New Life. I was shocked because I grew up with two of the ladies from New Life and their daughters, Lindsay and Angie. So our neighbors of course knew these same people and we also realized we grew up at the same church. So sometime later on that day, it hit me…
“These neighbors are great Christian people…how awesome is that! We have been members of the same church and know the same people… even more awesome! And they adopted their kids from New Life! WHAT…OH MY GOSH…GOD ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT’S WHY WE CAN’T GET PREGNANT, YOU WANT US TO ADOPT AND THAT’S WHY WE MOVED ACROSS THE STREET FROM THESE NEIGHBORS, THEY’RE GOING TO BE LIKE……
OUR ADOPTING MENTORS!!!! Please No God, I want my OWN baby! Please don’t tell me that’s what this is all about!”

Well, that has always stayed in the back of my mind, and here we are 3 years later and we really ARE adopting from New Life. Our neighbors aren’t a coincidence, they are a God thing. And it has been a blessing to know them and look to in this process.

It took coming to a place where I just couldn't bear anymore needles, doctor’s, failed IUI’s and negative pregnancy tests. I think everyone comes to a fork in the road where you have to make a new decision and for us it was adoption. It took me kicking and whining a little…
I seemed to be afraid to let go…
of the “pregnancy”
and the “infertility”.
I think I tried so hard to get pregnant that sometimes I forgot about the baby-part of it all. I didn’t want to forget the pain I had been in for so long, it had become apart of me. I had become complacent with being there.
It’s hard to just say to someone, “ya, we’re adopting”
without wanting to also mention the years of infertility and heartache.
I wanted to drag it along, like it was a string of hurt, trials, tears, and baggage at the end…
I didn’t want to let go. I spent so much time, money, and energy; I didn’t want that to be forgotten.
Plus…
I was still grieving…
the losses…
2 miscarriages and the “oh baby, why can’t you be” each month.

It has been a slow transition…
but…
now I can say “ya, we’re adopting”
and leave it at that.
Not to say that those years of infertility are forgotten, but they are just hidden inside close to my heart. And because of Jesus, those years have changed me, grown me, and brought me to…
ADOPTION!